


Gondola

by OriginalMagicalArtist



Series: Gentleman Jack One-Shots [1]
Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne noticing the gondola, Canon Compliant, F/F, Gondola, Headcanon, Light Angst, the hilltop scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 13:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20292397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginalMagicalArtist/pseuds/OriginalMagicalArtist
Summary: She’s drinking Ann in, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her, just to be sure she really is here, and not the hallucination she first thought when her eyes catch the glint of gold, drawing her gaze to the prominently displayed gondola.  She’s not sure how she missed it before. It’s resting just above Ann’s heart, like it’s been there since they parted.





	Gondola

**Author's Note:**

> Can we all agree that Suranne Jones and Sophie Rundle did an incredible job portraying these two women?

“Here…” Anne gently took the small broach from Ann’s hands and leaned over the blonde, her voice dropping an octave as she gently pinned it to Ann’s shawl. The air thickened between them, and from the corner of her eye she could see Ann’s eyes darting frequently to her lips as she spoke softly, “wear it, always.” Fastening the clasp, “Then, when you think of me…” she ran her finger over it briefly, admiring the way it lay against Ann’s collarbone before meeting the blonde’s eyes, “you’ll feel perfectly safe”.

Ann sighed, leaning into the minuscule space between them as she answered, “I’ll miss you”

Anne nodded, tilting her head to meet warm blue eyes, “I’ll miss you”. The sincerity in her own voice caught her briefly off guard.

Ann for her part whispered, “I wish you could come with us”

The desire to do exactly that rose in Anne swiftly, but she stamped it down and pulled away from the tension between them, trying to reign in her own desire while carefully managing and coaxing Miss Walker’s.

\----

Anne didn’t see the gondola again until the morning Ann left for Scotland.

Ann met her at the bottom of the stairs after a tearful goodbye with Catherine. She turned and caught sight of the gold broach and felt her heart break. In all the months since she had given her the broach, Ann had never once worn it. Not when Ann was afraid of losing Anne, not when the night terrors came, and not even when the whole fiasco with Mr. Ainsworth had occurred.

Now though it was carefully pinned to her shawl, just above the blonde’s heart. Anne reached out and brushed her finger over it, glancing at the blonde when she sighed heavily at the gentle touch. Anne knew then, Ann had never worn it before now, because she had always felt safe in Anne’s presence. She could sense the anxiety and grief radiating from the blonde, even as Miss Walker subtly leaned into the gentle caress. She wondered, for a moment, if Ann hadn’t chosen to wear it today as a comfort to them both.

Anne swallowed her own grief and focused on comforting the younger woman. She wanted to kiss her, but instead, she carefully wrapped her arms around the fragile girl. Ann’s grip was surprisingly strong, fierce even, as she clung to Anne. Anne gently ran her hand over the blonde’s spine, tucking her chin in to whisper in Ann’s ear, “You’ll be alright.” She sighed under the weight of her own anxiety, brushing aside her doubts about Ann’s family, “Look after yourself”

She held on until she felt Ann’s subtle nod of agreement and gently released her, her hand sliding to the blonde’s shoulder. The space between them was heavy with grief and longing. Anne swallowed and gently slid her hand down the blonde’s arm, her thumb brushing the gondola one last time as she released her. She could see the blonde’s struggle to keep her tears at bay from the stiff way she headed for the carriage and her heart once again clenched painfully as she wondered if she was doing the right thing in letting Ann leave with her idiot relations.

Anne watched her go, nodding at Elizabeth’s husband as he bid her goodbye. Her heart ached as the carriage puled away, but she remained there, stoic and calm until the carriage disappeared behind the trees, shielding her view of the blonde peering at her behind the glass. The moment the carriage vanished, Anne’s shoulders fell, and grief washed over her as she realized her best chance at a life with the woman, she loved had just left her behind. Again.

\-----

Anne’s lungs heaved from the exertion of screaming. Her shoulders drooped tiredly. Her neck and shoulders ached from the journey. She wasn’t entirely sure how she was still standing. She had never felt so defeated. She sighed, looking out over the beauty of Halifax. No matter how gorgeous it was, standing on this sunny knoll, the weak sun warming her in her dark and heavy overcoat, it felt empty.

No. She felt empty. Halifax had always felt too small to hold her, and now, it felt too big, too vast. As if a crucial piece was missing.

Unbidden, her mind conjured a face she had tried desperately to forget. Blonde ringlets, pale skin dotted with freckles, soft but piercing blue eyes. _Ann._

She could still see the blonde in her blue dress, remembered fingering the golden gondola boldly displayed for the world to see.

“Anne”. She frowned, thinking as she turned that she must finally be losing her mind from the grief and loneliness, because she could have sworn…

“Good Lord” she exclaimed as her eyes fell on the vision in front of her. Ann stood in front of her, in the very same blue dress, her expression full of concerned wonder, as if Ann couldn’t quite trust her own eyes either. Ann’s fingers twisted the material of her dress nervously as she spoke.

“I thought you were in Copenhagen”.

Anne’s brow furrowed in confusion, “I am, I was…” she threw her hands up in frustration with herself for entertaining the vision, and finally huffed as she retorted, “Aren’t you in Scotland?!”

Vision Ann stepped closer and Anne instinctively backed up, momentarily forgetting the steep slope immediately behind her. She stopped just in time as Ann spoke earnestly, “I didn’t know you had written from Paris; they didn’t tell me.”

Ann stopped, catching the way Anne had backed away and hesitated, her shoulders slumping slightly and her eyes dropping to the ground before lifting to meet Anne’s again, “I mean, my sister did eventually but she couldn’t write back to you because your letter disappeared with your address on it”.

Anne frowned. Her mind was fogged with fatigue but and she wondered why her mind had decided to conjure a rambling Ann. Out of every version of the blonde she had seen during their courtship, why her muddled brain had decided on this one she couldn’t understand.

Anne tried to shake off her exhaustion and tilted her head as Ann exclaimed, “I was so cross when I found out, but you see, the thing is, I don’t think she’s very happily married, Elizabeth”

Anne shook her head, irritation rising in her chest and she started to interrupt Ann, to ask why in the world they were discussing Elizabeth’s marriage but the blonde kept rambling, talking fast like she was anxious if she didn’t, she wouldn’t get it all out.

“… I think she’s frightened of him. I don’t think he’s very nice, I think he destroyed the letter…”

Anne struggled to follow Ann’s rapid chatter, distracted by the fact that the sun was making her hat uncomfortably warm, and her nose was running from the cold. She rectified both, blinking rapidly, hoping to convince her brain to cling to sanity until she could find a bed. No matter how many times she blinked, the blonde was still there.

“… I think he just married her for her money, and I think that she’s miserable.” The chatter stopped and the weight of Ann’s gaze had Anne shifting uncomfortably. It took a moment for it to occur to her Ann was waiting for some sort of response. It took another moment for Anne’s brain to formulate a reply.

“Well, I suppose that’s the trouble with being very rich. You never can be sure of people’s motives”.

A faint smile tugged at Ann’s lips, “We talked about you, me and Elizabeth…”

That surprised Anne. She tilted her head, evaluating the blonde in front of her, noticing she wasn’t wearing the shawl that accompanied the dress. Her mind finally caught up with the fact that she was not in fact hallucinating, and Ann was really in front of her. That realization alone was enough to have her softening, and her mind finally sharpened to cut through her exhaustion.

“… She said, she thought that sometimes…” Ann paused, “often, a good friendship is better than a marriage”

Anne nodded, the words soothing her wounded heart, and she ducked her head, and bit her lip to stave off the rising tide of emotion. Her Ann was here. She had spoken with a member of her tribe, and the result was Ann’s sudden reappearance in her life. She felt immense gratitude toward Ann’s sister, catching her off guard.

Ann’s voice softened, warm concern washing over Anne as she asked, “Are you alright?”

Anne sighed at the loaded question. Her heart was too raw, and her mind too muddled to give the question the thoughtful response it deserved, so she settled on the answer she could handle, “Pit collapsed, flooded. It’s fixable but it just needs money throwing at it and I, I took a gamble. I shouldn’t have.”

She sighed, her head dipping again before she glanced back into Ann’s earnest blue eyes, “but we’re not alive, are we? If we’re not taking the odd risk, now and again”

Ann smiled gently, “No, no we’re not” her agreement was firm, strong, just like the deliberately measured steps Ann took, closing the distance between them. Nothing like the Ann she had sent off to Scotland all those months ago.

Anne’s felt her heartbeat shift, from the exhausted slog to a steadier, if not excited rhythm. She sighed, unable to hold Ann’s gaze, feeling shame wash over her, “ I should have written again, but when I didn’t hear back…” the close proximity has her looking Ann over, unable to meet her gaze, but unable to look away from the woman she had tried to push out of her mind and failed.

She’s drinking Ann in, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her, just to be sure she really is here, and not the hallucination she first thought when her eyes catch the glint of gold, drawing her gaze to the prominently displayed gondola. She’s not sure how she missed it before. It’s resting just above Ann’s heart, like it’s been there since they parted.

The walls around her shattered heart started to crumble as hope swelled in her chest for the first time in months. Her gaze lifted to Ann’s, the truth spilling past her lips on a sigh, “God I’ve missed you”

The words seemed to snap the tension between them, and Ann stepped towards her, reaching out for Anne’s hand, grief and hope swirling in her eyes as she whispered, “Have you?”.

Ann’s gentle touch dissolved the last of Anne’s doubts about whether this was real. She knew this feeling. The thumb brushing across her knuckles was as solid as it was familiar and she found herself leaning into it, relieved.

Her Ann had returned and had come looking for her. Unable to speak, she gently drew their joined hands towards her, brushing a soft kiss across the back of Ann’s hand. She channeled what she couldn’t say into the gesture and hoped it would be enough.

Fin


End file.
